My song, My heaven

I am an individual who's part of a larger world.
Inextricably intertwined with everyone,
even you...
I am alone only with my thoughts.
I have the best of time and space in MY "perpetual" journey through life.

and to you...keep living in contempt or let some light into those eyes.
Sharing the journey is the only way you'll remember your experience.
You do not have all the answers. It is not all within you.

-M. Peña

Canto a mí mismo

Lo mejor del tiempo y el espacio es mío,
del tiempo y el espacio que nunca se han medido,
del tiempo y el espacio que nadie medirá.

Marcho por un camino perpétuo. (Escuchadme todos)
Mis señas son un capote de lluvia,
zapatos recios y un báculo que he cortado en el bosque,
ningún amigo se sentará en mi silla

yo no tengo silla, ni iglesia ni filosofía;
yo no conduzco a los hombres
ni al casino
ni a la biblioteca
ni a la Bolsa...

Los llevo hacia aquellas cumbres altas.

Mi mano izquierda te tomará de la cintura,
con la derecha te mostraré paisajes del continente
y del camino abierto.
Nadie, ni yo ni nadie, puede andar este camino por ti,
tú mismo has de recorrerlo.
No está lejos, está a tu alcance.
Tal vez estás en él sin saberlo desde que naciste,
acaso lo encuentres de improviso en la tierra o en el mar.

Echate el hato al hombro,
yo cargaré con el mío...vámonos.
Ciudades magníficas y naciones libres hallaremos en nuestra ruta.

Si te cansas, dame tu carga y apóyate en mi hombro,
más tarde harás tú lo mismo por mí...
Porque una vez que partamos ya no podremos detenernos.
Hoy, antes del alba, subí a la colina, miré los cielos apretados
de estrellas
y le dije a mi espíritu: ¿Cuando conozcamos todos estos mundos
y el placer y la sabiduría de todas las cosas que contienen,
estaremos ya tranquilos y satisfechos?
Y mi espíritu me dijo:No, ganaremos estas alturas sólo para continuar adelante.

Tú también me haces preguntas y yo te escucho.
Y te digo que no tengo respuesta,
que la respuesta has de encontrarla tú sólo.

Siéntate un momento, hijo mío.
Aquí tienes pan, come,
y leche, bebe.
Pero después que hayas dormido y renovado tus vestidos,
te besaré, te diré adiós y te abriré la puerta
para que salgas de nuevo.

Largo tiempo has soñado sueños despreciables.
Ven que te limpie los ojos...
Y acostúmbrate ya al resplandor de la luz.
Largo tiempo has chapoteado a la orilla agarrado a un madero,
ahora tienes que ser un nadador intrépido.
Aventúrate en alta mar, flota,
mírame confiado
y arremete contra la ola.

-Walt Whitman

Song of Myself, excerpt 46

I know I have the best of time and space, and was never measured and
never will be measured.

I tramp a perpetual journey, (come listen all!)
My signs are a rain-proof coat, good shoes, and a staff cut from the woods,
No friend of mine takes his ease in my chair,
I have no chair, no church, no philosophy,
I lead no man to a dinner-table, library, exchange,
But each man and each woman of you I lead upon a knoll,
My left hand hooking you round the waist,
My right hand pointing to landscapes of continents and the public road.

Not I, not any one else can travel that road for you,
You must travel it for yourself.

It is not far, it is within reach,
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born and did not know,
Perhaps it is everywhere on water and on land.

Shoulder your duds dear son, and I will mine, and let us hasten forth,
Wonderful cities and free nations we shall fetch as we go.

If you tire, give me both burdens, and rest the chuff of your hand
on my hip,
and in due time you shall repay the same service to me,
For after we start we never lie by again.

This day before dawn I ascended a hill and look'd at the crowded heaven,
And I said to my spirit When we become the enfolders of those orbs,
and the pleasure and knowledge of every thing in them, shall we
be fill'd and satisfied then?
And my spirit said No, we but level that lift to pass and continue beyond.

You are also asking me questions and I hear you,
I answer that I cannot answer, you must find out for yourself.

Sit a while dear son,
Here are biscuits to eat and here is milk to drink,
But as soon as you sleep and renew yourself in sweet clothes, I kiss you
with a good-by kiss and open the gate for your egress hence.

Long enough have you dream'd contemptible dreams,
Now I wash the gum from your eyes,
You must habit yourself to the dazzle of the light and of every
moment of your life.

Long have you timidly waded holding a plank by the shore,
Now I will you to be a bold swimmer,
To jump off in the midst of the sea, rise again, nod to me, shout,
and laughingly dash with your hair.

-Walt Whitman

Yesterday was both my Mom and Dad's birthday- October 28th. I put into perspective something I already knew.
...
That in my quest for True Love, I've had it all along. Family love is True love because its always Unconditional Love.

-M. Pena

NO GOD, NO PEACE.
KNOW GOD, KNOW PEACE.

Cinched at the mind
Bolted to the heart
Is a constellation of emotions
that links us with every touch
...to a higher power
Named Love

-M. Pena

Me son~e contigo anoche
y el beso fue mucho mas rico porque
Te espere.
y Tu me adoraste sin fin.

-M. Pena

The first word I see as I look for the registration tables: EPIPHANY

In short- this means:
*a moment of revelation and insight
*a sudden, intuitive perception into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Hopefully, this is my chance at a change of pace. We can always use a surge of empowerment.

-M. Pena

Next Stop- CHICAGO!

"Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.

Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives."

"A real decision is measured by the fact

that you've taken a new action.

If there's no action, you haven't truly decided. "

"What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible,

is rarely a function of our true capability.

It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are."

"Whatever happens, take responsibility."

-Tony Robbins

So, I'll just keep trying to convince you

That this passive-aggressive nature
is my mind in a temper tantrum
an impulse reliving its fervor for you
and I am static
...
in my restless tangents
in my struggle to evolve
in my psychic mind-reader state of analyzation
which is actually factually wrong
and mostly just absurd.


I know I've made it clear
but you haven't stopped to read
...my thoughts.


And in this endless rejection,
I still have no regrets
for living off the wall;
as I am just
a work in progress that
won't endure your insults any longer.

I will hustle
the way I did to
intoxicate you with my scent,
entice you with bottles of x-rated passion.
I will not settle
for your stagnant afterthought
of me in a submissive position
but rather
the cries of ecstasy
that you so eloquently sigh
in trying to resist me.

All was left unsaid while your
sins burned in between my legs.
affixed, skin to skin
yet unregretful in the eclipse of forever
which has everything to do with your existence
as we get closer to the truth.


What do I fear except
your image in that stained glass window?
If all that reflects
is your voice
asking me to stay
under your mantle of pride.
Tangled in you, yet stunted
from growing beautifully with you.

So, while this river runs through me,
I am a rush of vehement and rageful emotions.
I'll keep trying to convince you that
...love never left me.

-M. Peña

Poison

You fed my soul with your breath

or so I thought....

but all the while

intoxicating my veins with false hope

disguised in the form of a kiss.

-M. Peña

Get out of my face

Faultless judgements

I feel restless.
In my tireless effort to elevate us
from distressed images of a boundless mind.
They linger in an acrid abyss
that leaves the air thick and arid as my tongue in drought.
I'm speechless, but I realize
its the distance which subdues my voice
into monotonous silences.
I am fearless when life veers its head
and bows in shame;
For in the seamless depths of my imagination
we're meant to be imperfect.
I won't digress very far from my psyche.


-M. Peña

Unconventional dis/at/traction

The residual echoes of your voice were whisked away into a box and were lost
Maybe it was your soul running from me.
Still, I'm glad you left only a trace of wisdom.

There's a new beat tapping the walls of my heart in hypnotic, streamlined ticks
Its a more gentle, more attentive kind of touch.
I listen graciously,
I move with a sensuous flow
guided by his pulse.

-M. Peña

Don't confuse my subordination for weakness or lack of self. My I's may be soft, but they're dotted with ink.

A sense of self

Within my words, my wit, my grace
I have learned self-suffiency, self-help, the self-gratifying
nature of "I"
I am the owner of my thoughts
cognizant that I:
speculate
judge
idealize
scrutinize
theorize
rationalize
unintentionally create logic
from the incongruous and inconsistent
details in my life
Though my mind may be a puzzle
without a correct answer
Its self-reliant.

-M. Peña